2026-05-01 08:08![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
avithbrion
avithbrionAnother Friyay!
Friyay is an overstatement. My month thus far has been an absolute nightmare, and I cannot help but ponder whether or not I'm a bad person. I went off on a few people yesterday after somebody pushed me over the edge. I ended up not getting in trouble with the substitute of that class for cursing someone out very loudly, as she "likes me" and hasn't had any previous issues with me. I may get bad grades, but at least I'm not a bad kid. Maybe I am. I truthfully do not know.
Being into a girl who's already with someone is a painful thing. If you've never experienced it, I wouldn't recommend it. Not in the slightest. This girl has no idea how absolutely, truthfully, and sincerely in love with her I am. It's absurd. I mean, I've tried telling her, and her response is "Oh, I've been there... I'm sorry..." But have you really? Have you been in 100% the exact same situation as me? I know even if I somehow by the skin'o'my teeth get into a relationship with her, it'll totally be bad-news-bears, as my brother put it. There isn't a good outcome in sight, unfortunately. April's never been a good month in my life.
An ex of mine had a pretty sincere attempt in April, and I gaslit myself into believing she was dead for a while. She isn't, as I've seen her pop up on socials before, and admittedly, I did look into her to make sure she was okay. As far as I can tell, she is, thankfully. A lot of these people around me have no idea what's going on in my head. The most they know is that I almost died by my own hand back in November. But it seems they have actually managed to forget that. 50% of the people who were excited to have me back and hugged me, and things have stopped talking to me. 50% is a guesstimation, not a sincere statistic.
I think I still have a lot of recovering to do yet.
- Avith (Jameson)
Friyay is an overstatement. My month thus far has been an absolute nightmare, and I cannot help but ponder whether or not I'm a bad person. I went off on a few people yesterday after somebody pushed me over the edge. I ended up not getting in trouble with the substitute of that class for cursing someone out very loudly, as she "likes me" and hasn't had any previous issues with me. I may get bad grades, but at least I'm not a bad kid. Maybe I am. I truthfully do not know.
Being into a girl who's already with someone is a painful thing. If you've never experienced it, I wouldn't recommend it. Not in the slightest. This girl has no idea how absolutely, truthfully, and sincerely in love with her I am. It's absurd. I mean, I've tried telling her, and her response is "Oh, I've been there... I'm sorry..." But have you really? Have you been in 100% the exact same situation as me? I know even if I somehow by the skin'o'my teeth get into a relationship with her, it'll totally be bad-news-bears, as my brother put it. There isn't a good outcome in sight, unfortunately. April's never been a good month in my life.
An ex of mine had a pretty sincere attempt in April, and I gaslit myself into believing she was dead for a while. She isn't, as I've seen her pop up on socials before, and admittedly, I did look into her to make sure she was okay. As far as I can tell, she is, thankfully. A lot of these people around me have no idea what's going on in my head. The most they know is that I almost died by my own hand back in November. But it seems they have actually managed to forget that. 50% of the people who were excited to have me back and hugged me, and things have stopped talking to me. 50% is a guesstimation, not a sincere statistic.
I think I still have a lot of recovering to do yet.
- Avith (Jameson)
